i know the tours end at like 5 but i wanna get a footy and go there at 6 and play a little put the scoreboard on

Next time Melbourne are playing at Etihad, wear the full gear and run out onto the ground, half the Melbourne players are unknown to the footy public so you should be OK! Although playing for the Dees won't guarantee you getting a kick!!

Fire off an email to Vladimir, I'm sure he'll arrange that for you.